From a Distance
Christopher Laney 
As I neared my speaking venue, I suddenly regretted not making time to wash my car. The thin film of dust on the vehicle’s black hood looked even worse through my bug-bombed windshield. So much for the inspirational speaker leading by example; who will value the message when the messenger arrives in a filthy car?
The feeling intensified when every vehicle in the parking lot seemed cleaner than mine. I pulled to the lot’s far side, locked up, and headed toward the building’s entrance.
That’s when I noticed it.
All those cars that had looked so clean when I’d pulled into the lot, now revealed their own films of dust and bug-splotched windshields as I moved passed them. My car, in the distance, looked immaculate.
My topic that day was the first blog post I’d ever written: White-Knuckle Living: How to Succeed by Letting Go. But after my experience outside, I added an item:
- Let go of the illusion that others—especially successful people—are superior to you.
Most of us have done it at some point: convinced ourselves that others know more, look better, or are more talented. We’ve felt like naive kids surrounded by competent adults and at any moment, someone will blow the whistle to reveal we have no clue what we’re doing and just trying to figure it out as we go along.
But it’s all an illusion. From a distance, others seem shiny and perfect, like the cars in the parking lot, while our own world is distorted by the film of our flaws, magnified because we are so close to them, so acutely aware.
Next time you feel the urge to succumb to the illusion that you are not good enough, remember what Christopher Robin said to Pooh:
“…you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
And most people are too busy struggling with their own flaws to be concerned with yours.
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Friday, June 29, 2012 at 5:54AM | in Doubt, Fear, Guidance, Letting Go, Limitless Living, Positive Thinking, Success, Uncertainty | tagged Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh | Share | 15 Comments | Email Article
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Reader Comments (15)
Love this. Reminds me of one of my favorite sayings, "Never judge your insides by someone else's outsides."
Wow, Kim. Never heard that before, but it's perfect. Will remember it.
Great post. It is amazing how much power our insecurities have over us. I holding on to the Christopher Robins quote...
Great post - needed to be reminded of this today!
These always come "Just In Time", thank you Chris
Awesome, Chris. One of your best, I think. Really resonated with me! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights.
Good stuff Chris. Reminds me of an old saying: "In my 20's, I worried about what others thought of me. In my 30's I stop caring about what they thought. And in my 40's, I realized they were never thinking about me in the first place!"
Having said that, I still appreciate a clean car :)
Cheers and keep up the good work.
Chris,
What a great post. In psychology we call that "less than thinking." Mark Twain once remarked that, "Deep down in his own heart, no man much likes himself." Unfortunately, this is far too true and the consequences are everywhere to be seen. I think that Elanor Roosevelt had it right when she said, "As you esteem yourself, so shall the world." Thanks for the reminder. We all struggle with those gremlins from time to time. I have included a link below to a great document that I use in doing executive coaching called "The Very Real Dangers of Feeling Like a Fake." Which fully fleshes out the idea you blogged about and how it impacts so many successful professionals. Others often refer to this thinking as "The Imposter Phenomenon. I have not seen you since class, but I hope all is well with you and your family. Looks to be like your in the glide slope!
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CFIQFjAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.u-cursos.cl%2Fingenieria%2F2009%2F2%2FIN3001%2F2%2Fmaterial_docente%2Fobjeto%2F249620&ei=wBHuT8aMOo-q8ASNwfytDQ&usg=AFQjCNEd-C_-67qtTmmUG3bMr83g3FDdgg&cad=rja
Thanks Chris - We all need to hear this.
Wonderful post! I really needed this one today. Many thanks, Chris!
Hi Chris....Great thoughts. as usual...I have that quote on a small plaque above my bed...You inspire!!
Linda S and Linda S, Thanks for reading and leaving comments. Will see you both soon.
Veronica, Just call me JIT. :)
Steve, Thanks and that means a lot coming from you. Good to see you in class today.
Ged, Great saying and one I don't recall having heard before, but I will use it from now on.
Tom, Thanks for the PDF. I look forward to reading and possibly discussing sometime.
Teddy, You're welcome and thanks for visiting the site.
Christina, Great to "see" you hear and glad it helped.
M-I-L, Thank you and I believe I remember seeing it.
Glad to be a part of your world. As usual, you fit like a glove with the TJSN gang. Can't remember who first recruited you to speak the first time, but I am greatful they did. Singers, writers and poets open the doors of our hearts for God's love to shine in. Thanks for connecting with those who are walking in a time of uncertainty and shadows.
Hi Glenn,
I'm grateful to have been connected to the group as well. It was John Oglesby who first suggested I speak there.
And I know everyone who attends is thankful for the work you are doing.
Poignant observation and beautifully written, Chris. Thanks for the inspiration!
I see that last sentence on a plaque...
"Most people are too busy struggling with their own flaws to be concerned with yours." -Christopher (Robin) Laney